4-11-08.

Happy Birthday K.G!

Finally getting the gang together for Kris' b'day has been the latest feather in my cap; i say it like its a big deal because it is..it's been awhile since we've all met up and caught up and laughed.It was a ball and we so gotta do it again,soon...like before another 10 years passes,and we realise its been 20 since high school!:)

didja miss me?

*grin* *grin* *grin*

ola people!!!i know its been agessssssssss hasn't it?crap, i hate it when life takes me away from you..but you know lah how its is, new job, new car, skidded off the road, fixed car,breast lump, parents divorce, a break up, a make up, another job...and all in the space of 4 months eh?:)i impress even myself.and now im frickin exhausted.

but never again..never again will i leave you to some other site with sub-standard blogging..:P..shit im just so happy to be back..my writing's probably drivel as i sit in a toyota service centre patiently waiting for my car to be serviced (leftover squeaks from the bang up)

ok, so enough of my self-indulgent crap, how's life been treatin YOU lately?

i'm looking really hard for holiday partners so if you're a) laid back b)got time this month and c) wanna hit up perhentian,bali, ausland or anyplace where there's no a)nagging b)deadlines c)thinking needed, i'm so there. lemme know k?

oh also, i got the wiiii...my gawd, its so fantastic..

eh, can we do lunch soon please?or dinner, i know this fantastic italian place..:)

hugs + kisses!

Questions.

I've heard this sentence spoken a few times - DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS.

from mothers to children, from bosses to employees; friend to friend.

i get really really annoyed with people who say that. i guess because first of all, there's no such thing as a stupid question. there are only stupid answers. and with this kind of mentality going around where people stop asking questions because they don't wanna seem stupid or encourage any kind of conflict, isn't it then kinda obvious why the state of our country is the way it is? (oh sorry,was that a stupid question?) *grin*

i think questions are brilliant. for so many reasons. it's the answers one has to worry about.

Snails on the side of the road.

thats what's kept me sane for the past month. snails. on the side of the road.mating. or maybe one was trying to get past the other and decided that crawling over it was quicker than crawling past it. i dunno man. but it was one of the only things that have made sense the past few weeks.

the other thing that makes sense are my friends and that line from the devil wears prada; (im too bloody swamped to be watching or reading anything deeper so yalah..the devil wears prada) "When your personal life goes up in smoke, thats when its time for a promotion".

so yeah, luckily for me, i have 3 things that make sense. i've explained the snails and the line. my friends dont quite need an explanation because lets face it, they also knowlah the feeling of over-swampage of work and the feeling of non-making sense-ness. and i hope that they're reading this so they know how very much i miss em. i miss you fart faces to no end. one bloody fart face in particular.

other than that, life's been great. im alive. im cursing more,sleeping less, eating more or less, smoking abundantly and working in an industry that has no scruples. i SHOULD be dead. so see?doesnt make sense why im alive. but im bloody thankful. :)

catch up with you soon. love lots and always.

Keepin’ Up With The Joneses.

In Malaysia, it’s more like keeping up with the Yeos, or the Abdullahs or the Singhs. We get SO worked up over who has what job, or who has what car or who has more money that I wonder sometimes if it’s all worth it.

It’s been a long year. For me anyway. And the one thing I’ve learnt is to never,ever, EVER let anyone dictate your life for you. Not your partner, not your friends, not even your parents. Because even if you tell yourself you can get through it, that it’s allright, it won’t be. Because you’ll be lying to yourself. And once you do that, it all goes downhill baby.

You set your standards. You dictate where your life is going. Buy what you wanna buy, don’t buy what you don’t need. And you answer to yourself. No matter how scary everything else might be, having regrets at the end of my days sound the scariest of all.

I’ve had a really good friend ask “how do you get the courage to face bullshit sometimes?”

Well, for me it starts with a picture frame. I’ve always wanted to hang pictures in my home but never got around to it due to all the bullshit that happens that seems to take up the better part of my day. Until one day I woke up and decided I was gonna hang that damn picture if it killed me. So I went out with the intention of buying some 3M hooks (which are brilliant by the way, especially for girls). I got to the hardware store and the heavy duty 3M hooks were outta stock. At that point, I had two choices; give up and go home or look into alternatives (i.e. buy a drill). There was storeclerk 1 & 2 who were both idiots and didn’t know the difference between cement and concrete, so I decided they were probably going to kill me either with their stupidity or the saleage of the wrong electrical tool….so I edged away slowly. Walked into the drill area and there he was: specky, skinny and a walking drill dictionary. He introduced me to drill bits, the difference between a drill for “stuff” and a drill for walls (yeah, its so cool I tell you) and I walked out with a 35% discount. Fast forward 24 hours later, I’m standing in front of my measured wall thinking “fuck I’m so gonna get electrocuted and die alone and that is so unglamorous it’s not even funny” (there’s a light right above where I was drilling and no, there was no other place I wanted to hang the picture). So I paced for like an hour,maybe three….got dressed in rubber gloves and my running shoes (hey,I wanted to be safe allright?) and poised the gun, I mean drill.. at the wall. At the end of 10 minutes, my picture was hung, and nobody died.

So I guess the answer to my friend’s question is simple. Do something you’re absolutely terrified of. By yourself. No man, no friend. nothing. After that, you’ll be able to take on anything. And along the way, you learn stuff, you forget about your fear, your problem, the “too much ness” of it all, you forget the judgemental people who think you can’t do it, because you’re too busy trying to solve it.

Fuck the Joneses. Keep up to you…I reckon it’s way more satisfying.

God is a comedian playing to an audience thats too afraid to laugh.

but i will laugh damn it. becos the alternative means being cranky. and i dont like being cranky.

in the past 3 weeks i have been going for these things you go to to get a job. there are people there, and they are supposed to ask you INTELIGENT questions about yourself (the word to highlight here is 'supposed'). i happen to know this having actually interviewed quite a few people myself.

some of 'em were brilliant. they command respect without being arrogant, they ask the right questions, although some might be tough....but most of all they did their homework and are prepared to look for the best person possible to contribute to their organisation.

and then there are the others. somehow my brother's major in uni came up. my parents personal life, my age (apparently i'm to young to know what i know) - for that i nearly reached across the damn table and strangled it (the person in question doesn't deserve a gender).

i am sure this situation isn't a unique one, having heard horror stories from friends...so i'm sure you guys feel me lah..just wanted you to know that you do not walk alone..lone....lone..lone..(echo fades out).